To Rant Or Not To Rant

One of these days, I'll learn to keep my mouth shut, to NOT get involved in so much crap, and to say NO when someone asks me to do shit for them.

It's been a long day.

The workout routine that I "started" on Wed didn't actually start until this morning - at 6:30am when I woke up. I then went to the gym from approx 7am to 8am. Yay me. Not that I actually knew what I was doing . . . It just sounds good to say I went to the gym today.
I then proceeded to paperwork that actually should have been done last night that ended up getting done today.
I then headed to my first class of the day only to get out early and have time to kill. I wasted time til my second class (which lasted a painful hour and twenty minutes - the regular class length).
I then spent about an hour putzing in my room/building, doing "official" crap.
I then proceeded to a meeting with a woman (God bless her) whose only desire is to help all her students but, quite literally, was feeding me so much information that I was feeling a bit like a deer in the headlights . . . On the bright side, because of her I now have two job possibilities for this summer and a possible side job for later this semester.
I was then allowed to go hide in the cafeteria where I proceeded to ignore the world by hiding my face in a book (a very useful strategy).
This evening saw me working/doing homework/trying not to fall asleep. On the bright side, my friend came to visit me . . . That DEFINITELY helped. And then there was encountering "the boy" in the hallway as he was coming back from the shower . . . in a towel . . . I have to say, I was rather amused . . .

However, the fact remains that, while I did see/talk to "the boy" today, I'm feeling rather neglected . . . We both have major work stuff (he's a senior; I'm an insane sophmore who can't say no - our workloads are about the same . . .), hence the fact that I haven't spent a lot of time with him since Mon . . . I know it's stupid - I happen to LIKE attention from the guy I'm dating (preferably positive, but recently I almost feel like I'll take what I can get). But there's a definite part of me that feels like I just want to be by myself, and I'm not particularly concerned about not seeing him quite so much this weekend. This relationship is one of the weirdest I've ever seen. We're dating, but we're not particularly close. We're friends, but I have no qualms about keeping stuff from him. And to top it off, neither of us knows much at all about the other person . . . Once again, I find the question on the tip of my tongue - "WTF?"

This weekend, in an attempt to try and save my sanity, I've put in for "time off" - in other words,


YOU CAN'T CALL ME UNLESS THE DAMN BUILDING BURNS DOWN.

I'm actually looking forward to getting out of the building, even if it means that I'm less likely to see certain people . . . I need the break. my head hurts from thinking too much.

I think now would be the time to say good night and toddle off to bed . . .

That's The Beat Of A Heart

The Warren Brothers/Sara Evans

Sometimes it's hard to don't wanna look over your shoulder/'Cause you don't want to remember where you've been/There'll come a time you die,/If you could only hold her/'Cause I know that's where I am/So listen with all your heart/Hold it inside forever/You may find all your dreams have already come true/Look inside and find the part that's leading you/'Cause that's the beat of a heart/Sometimes you'll drown it out with all your rage and thunder/Sometimes you'll drown it out with all your tears/There'll come a time when you hear it and you'll wonder/"Where in the world have I been?"/So listen with all your heart/Hold it inside forever/You may find all your dreams have already come true/Look inside and find the part that's leading you,/'Cause that's the beat of a heart/No one can tell you how to get there/It's a road you take all by yourself/(All by yourself)/All by yourself/ So listen with all your heart/Hold it inside forever/You may find all your dreams have already come true/Look inside and find the part that's leading you/'Cause that's the beat of/Oh it's the sweetest sound,/'Cause that's the beat of a heart.