Wondering Aimlessly

I'm sitting in my school's computer lab at 11pm because the server to my dorm is down and I'm wondering why it is that I can't seem to get it right.

Have you ever been in a position to make an important choice, an important decision, one that has incredible potential?

Did you ever make that decision only to realize that it was the wrong decision?

Have you ever had that instant taken away from you before you even realized there was a decision to make?

Why is it that when we are called on to make those choices, most often we back away from that which we know is right?

Are we ever going to know the impact our decisions have on the people around us?

How do I deal with the fact that the decisions that I make might have an effect on people's lives? That in certain situations, my decisions could mean life or death for another person?

How do I know if someone truly cares about me or is simply using me for reasons I don't fully comprehend or understand?

The humanity in me is torn between attaining absolute perfection and wallowing in the mire that is my own selfishness and decit.

I really need to stop drinking caffeine . . .


My Immortal
Evanescence
I'm so tired of being here/Suppressed by all my childish fears/And if you have to leave/I wish that you would just leave/'Cause your presence still lingers here/And it won't leave me alone/These wounds won't seem to heal/This pain is just too real/There's just too much that time cannot erase/When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears/When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears/I held your hand through all of these years/But you still have/All of me/You used to captivate me/By your resonating light/Now I'm bound by the life you left behind/Your face it haunts/My once pleasant dreams/Your voice it chased away/All the sanity in me/These wounds won't seem to heal/This pain is just too real/There's just too much that time cannot erase/I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone/But though you're still with me/I've been alone all along